Every year for the first Friday of the NCAA Basketball tourney, me and all my scumbag friends will get together and watch the games. We skip work and get to the bar around 10am. Then we pretty much act all day like we are in still in college.
The day starts with an all-you-can-drink open bar and after 10 plus hours of drinking, it always ends exactly the way you think it does. We therefore refer to this Friday as “Black Friday.” This year Charlie decided to make the trip to Chicago for the annual debacle.
We decided to spend the whole day at Cortland’s Garage in Bucktown watching the games. At around 10pm, we decide we have imbibed more than enough fun for the day. Charlie, our buddy Gonzo Asada and I head outside and hop in a cab back to my place.
On the way, we stop at the best steak taco place in the world, LaPasadita. There we shovel approximately 1,000 steak tacos down our throats, then hop back into a second cab.
We’re all three completely lit and as we pull up in front of my place I feel the vomit creep up my throat. I try to open the door quickly to puke onto the street but since we haven’t paid yet, the doors are all locked.
I yell to the driver “Dude! Unlock the back door!”
He responds, “Not until you have paid.”
“DUDE! No time! Unlock the back….”
I can wait no more and open wide and puke about 333 steak tacos and 52 Miller High Life’s all over the back seat of this guys cab. The vomitorium may be a myth but this was no myth. We are now swimming in vomit.
He finally unlocks the back door and I stumble into the street. The cabbie pulls out a switch blade and points it at Charlie. “Give me my money.” Of course Charlie has no cash left on him. They have to dig through my pockets to find my wallet and pay Travis Bickle before he slices us all to pieces.
Once we get into my apartment, I dash to my bed and pass out instantly. At around 3am I wake up dying of thirst and walk into the kitchen to get a glass of water. As I’m walking through the living room, the lights are still on and I hear snoring. Gonzo is passed out cold in the middle of the floor and the couch is empty. Where is Charlie?
As I turn into the kitchen who do I find? Five hours later, standing up, with the lights on, by himself, snoring away?
Just so you know, this is NOT the first time I have seen something like this, it is however the first time I had a video camera on my phone to document it. This is 100% “normal” for him. He really is sound asleep and has been standing there for five hours like that. With an empty couch less than ten feet away.
Beware! These videos are hypnotic.
The giggles you hear are me and the snoring in the background is Gonzo. Yes, I left the lights on. Yes, I left him standing there. Yes, I went back to bed.
His regular sleeping habits are truly unparalleled and I plan to discuss them soon in a future story.