Posts tagged ‘Comedy’
Chelsea and I had a really nice week in Chicago before she had to head to New York City for the finale. Good luck babe! Tonight our weekly love affair comes to an end.
Last week Tarzan’s goofy ass was voted out bringing us to five ladies (Kim, Chelsea, Cha Cha Cha, Chialicia and Sabs) and for the first time in show history the final five is all women. Does anyone know if it has it ever been all men?
I’m not usually a follower but sometimes when everyone is doing it, I have to jump on board. I’ve never been an early adopter and will often even fight it. For years I heard The Wire was the greatest show on TV but I didn’t want to cave in just because it was cool. Well… I shouldn’t have waited, that shit is mind bogglingly good. Omar’s my homeboy.
This time the cool thing to do was get the snip. I’d been toying around with the idea for years, I’m still a youngish guy, so why not? I don’t need no kids. Kids aren’t smart, they aren’t interesting, they have zero life experience, they never want to go to the bars and besides the regular naps we aren’t interested in any of the same things. “You’re playing with Legos? Sweet. Those were cool thirty years ago loser.” “The Wiggles… awesome. Bon Iver got robbed at the Grammys. Thoughts? Oh, you don’t have any because you’re a kid.” “Want to go see Drive tonight, starts at 10? Oh that’s past your bed time. Grow up wuss.” (I’m joking of course… I love all your kids even if they are rats.)
Decision made, no kids for me. Let’s make it official. Vasectomy.
Better late than never Survivor fans. Sorry… I know I missed a week but I’ve been über busy, ridiculously sick, blah and 100 other excuses. I just haven’t had a chance to write anything and didn’t even watch last weeks episode until last night, so I was a whole week behind. Is anyone even reading these any more?
I was quite wrong last week when I predicted Tarzan would go next. There was a total blind side of Kitty Kat after she spent all of Tribal Council talking about how she loved blindsides. One other small note from last week, is that I went to West Point with Sab’s brother Tony, who was “Jeffrey” twenty years ago. (This was confirmed by Ms. Thompson.) Check out that stud “Robert.”
Not to be too much of a downer on this episode but I have never been more sure that someone is going home before an episode starts than I am tonight. I will watch so I can stare at my girlfriend for forty minutes; but otherwise, prepare for Yawnfest.
Good news… Caps win! The Bruins season is over and now I get to watch the end of one of the Zans seasons . If either Tarzan or Troyzan does not leave tonight, I will cut off a finger. “Yours or mine?” “Yours.” “That’s what I thought.”
This recap has been missing something at the top recently. Welcome back Chels, you sexy little minx.
Last week the men continued their self-destruction and barring some huge turn of events, I suspect the same will happen this week. “See ya later” to either Tarzan, Troyzan or the jockey. I think I have a pretty good handle on this season… but I guess that’s why they play the games, anything can happen…
These are actual pictures taken from a dating website I’m on. There’s about a million different things that girls post that drives me mental. It’s not exclusive to these specific girls below. These are generalizations… so don’t go feeling all bad for them. I assure you, there is plenty more crazy where this came from.