Posts tagged ‘Television’

Survivor Recap: 5/13 Perception Is Not Always Reality

Chelsea and I had a really nice week in Chicago before she had to head to New York City for the finale.  Good luck babe!  Tonight our weekly love affair comes to an end.

Last week Tarzan’s goofy ass was voted out bringing us to five ladies (Kim, Chelsea, Cha Cha Cha, Chialicia and Sabs) and for the first time in show history the final five is all women.  Does anyone know if it has it ever been all men?

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The Big Snip

I’m not usually a follower but sometimes when everyone is doing it, I have to jump on board.  I’ve never been an early adopter and will often even fight it.  For years I heard The Wire was the greatest show on TV but I didn’t want to cave in just because it was cool.  Well…  I shouldn’t have waited, that shit is mind bogglingly good.  Omar’s my homeboy.

This time the cool thing to do was get the snip.  I’d been toying around with the idea for years, I’m still a youngish guy, so why not?  I don’t need no kids.  Kids aren’t smart, they aren’t interesting, they have zero life experience, they never want to go to the bars and besides the regular naps we aren’t interested in any of the same things.  “You’re playing with Legos?  Sweet.  Those were cool thirty years ago loser.”  “The Wiggles… awesome.  Bon Iver got robbed at the Grammys.  Thoughts?  Oh, you don’t have any because you’re a kid.” “Want to go see Drive tonight, starts at 10? Oh that’s past your bed time.  Grow up wuss.”  (I’m joking of course…  I love all your kids even if they are rats.)

Decision made, no kids for me.  Let’s make it official.  Vasectomy.

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Survivor Recap: 5/9 It’s Human Nature

Better late than never Survivor fans.  Sorry…  I know I missed a week but I’ve been über busy, ridiculously sick, blah and 100 other excuses.  I just haven’t had a chance to write anything and didn’t even watch last weeks episode until last night, so I was a whole week behind.  Is anyone even reading these any more?

I was quite wrong last week when I predicted Tarzan would go next.  There was a total blind side of Kitty Kat after she spent all of Tribal Council talking about how she loved blindsides.  One other small note from last week, is that I went to West Point with Sab’s brother Tony, who was “Jeffrey” twenty years ago.  (This was confirmed by Ms. Thompson.)  Check out that stud “Robert.”

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Survivor Recap: 4/25 Never Say Die

Not to be too much of a downer on this episode but I have never been more sure that someone is going home before an episode starts than I am tonight.  I will watch so I can stare at my girlfriend for forty minutes; but otherwise, prepare for Yawnfest.

Good news…  Caps win!  The Bruins season is over and now I get to watch the end of one of the Zans seasons .  If either Tarzan or Troyzan does not leave tonight, I will cut off a finger.  “Yours or mine?” “Yours.” “That’s what I thought.”

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Survivor Recap: 4/18 I’m No Dummy

This recap has been missing something at the top recently.  Welcome back Chels, you sexy little minx. 

Last week the men continued their self-destruction and barring some huge turn of events, I suspect the same will happen this week.  “See ya later” to either Tarzan, Troyzan  or the jockey.  I think I have a pretty good handle on this season… but I guess that’s why they play the games, anything can happen…

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Survivor Recap: 4/11 Go Out With A Bang

I started off this week with no plan on where I was going to go with this recap.  I was a teenaged girl lost in the forest, hunting squirrels and being chased by tracker jackers and fireballs.  Then I spoke to my drunk friend, Haymitch, and together we devised a plan.  A  plan on how to decide who would be this week’s cover girl.  We put all the ladies names into a jar and drew out Chialicia’s name.  Then out of nowhere, Kitty Kat came forward and shouted “I offer myself up!  I volunteer as this weeks cover girl tribute!”  So, Kitty Kat, the odds are ever in your favor.  Happy Survivor recap!

How does one get that buff around their body?  I have one and I can barely get it around my thick skull.  Not to mention…  Anyways.

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Survivor Recap: 4/4 Just Annihilate Them

It was recently pointed out to me that this site has become the “Chelsea Meissner” homepage and I may want to mix it up.  To that man I say “Go to hell!!!”  Just kidding…  I 90% agree, it was getting out of control.  (Although Chelsea darling, if you are reading this, I promise it’s just a lie that I’m telling to appease the masses.  It’s like the bartender who wont admit she has a boyfriend so she’ll get better tips.  I got to make “the people” happy.)

So, my real girlfriend Christina Cha Cha Cha gets the headline picture this week… as promised… and DAMN does she deserve it!  Look at those legs, those abs, that smile, those eyes and those ummmm…

Either way, Chipwrecks has definitely gotten out of control with Survivor lately.  I have been insane busy  (also just insane) and haven’t had time to write much else.  But I promise I will soon.  Thanks for staying a fan!

Anyways, heres Survivor 4/4.  Love the title this week from CBS.  Just Annihilate Them!  Let us learn and let us do.

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Survivor Recap: 3/28 The Beauty In A Merge

A day late and a dollar short, better late than never, this one will be short and sweet and a few other clichés.  My apologies on the late recap but I finally got around to watching this weeks episode.  This week’s recap will be on time though, I promise!

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