I’m not usually a follower but sometimes when everyone is doing it, I have to jump on board. I’ve never been an early adopter and will often even fight it. For years I heard The Wire was the greatest show on TV but I didn’t want to cave in just because it was cool. Well… I shouldn’t have waited, that shit is mind bogglingly good. Omar’s my homeboy.
This time the cool thing to do was get the snip. I’d been toying around with the idea for years, I’m still a youngish guy, so why not? I don’t need no kids. Kids aren’t smart, they aren’t interesting, they have zero life experience, they never want to go to the bars and besides the regular naps we aren’t interested in any of the same things. “You’re playing with Legos? Sweet. Those were cool thirty years ago loser.” “The Wiggles… awesome. Bon Iver got robbed at the Grammys. Thoughts? Oh, you don’t have any because you’re a kid.” ”Want to go see Drive tonight, starts at 10? Oh that’s past your bed time. Grow up wuss.” (I’m joking of course… I love all your kids even if they are rats.)
Decision made, no kids for me. Let’s make it official. Vasectomy.