Not the typical Survivor episode this week.  It seems we’ve been running into that quite a bit this season.  The standard reward challenge, immunity challenge, tribal council format is out the window and I suspect CBS may be making shit up as they go along. 

This week however karma is officially a bitch… and I love her. 

Also this week… I wrote the entire recap last night and didn’t save it so this is the condensed version.  Sorry for being half-assed this week.

When the blue tribe gets back to camp, from voting out Ms. Culpepper, Chialicia goes on the offensive right away attacking Cha Cha Cha.    Chia is quickly becoming the new villain of the season (but we will get to that soon).  Now that Monica is gone and since there is no one left from the old ladies tribe, Chia sees that there are no repercussions for being rude and immediately attacks Cha Cha Cha.  Weak move….

Cha Cha Cha was matter-of-factly discussing the state of the tribe with the remaining men and Chia overheard her.  But to be fair, I don’t think Cha Cha Cha gave a shit if she overheard her.  Chia has been a bitch to her from day one…  why suddenly become besties now?  Anyways, Cha Cha Cha handles her business like a smooth operator and sweeps Chia’s amateur hour attack under the carpet.  Chia said Cha doesn’t have a clue how to play the game.  Bold prediction: Cha Cha Cha gets further in this game than Chialicia.

The reward challenge this week is to climb some building blocks and then bounce coconuts off trampolines into trash cans.  It was as stupid as it sounds.  CBS has to work on coming up with better challenges, could this shit be more random?  The winning tribe gets…. ice cream!  They are in the middle of the friggin’ jungle?  Give me a Gatorade not frozen milk.  I can’t think of anything that would make me feel more like shit that dairy.

The awkward tribe is horrible at coconut bouncing and the super model tribe crushes them.  When they win Probst yells out like he is the Grand Marshall of a Pride parade “Salani wins…. ICE CREAM!!!!” 

While the models are off eating their ice cream with Jughead, the Island of Misfit Toys continues to be awkward.  Chia and Sea Foam keep pointlessly bashing Cha Cha Cha and she continues to ignore their shit.  Sea Foam starts to get pains in his stomach and the only person to console him is Cha Cha Cha.  Which just proves how great a person she is, that even after all of his rude obnoxious bullshit, she rises above. 

Sea Foam has appendicitis (which I spelled correctly the first time even without spell check thank you) and he has to leave the game.  I’m not even going to entertain discussing this turd, besides to say, good riddance.  Karma is a bitch bro. 

The real story here though, is that when Sea Foam was wincing on the beach in pain, Probsty Boy shows up saying “Hey Colton, it’s Jeff and the medical team.”  Like all the sudden Probst is some sort of medical professional in addition to his television hosting career.   Dude cracks me up some times.  Stay blue Probst!

After Sea Foam is carted off, both tribes are sent to Tribal Council… for what we don’t know?  What can it be!?  Who are they kidding after a grand total of ONE immunity challenge as mixed tribes, everyone is merged.  Six men versus six women and the shit is about to hit the proverbial fan.  Is CBS just making this up as they go along?  Seriously… one week in the new tribes?  What a joke. 

Probst says as he always does, “It’s now an individual game,”  which always strikes me as funny because isn’t it essentially always an individual game?  My guy Richard Hatch definitely set the tone for the lingo in this game.

I’m pretty positive that Chelsea is subliminally hitting on me right here.

Next week should start the fun, seeing how the alliances work themselves out.  I suspect we go back to men versus women but so far I have been 100% off on every prediction this season.

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