It was recently pointed out to me that this site has become the “Chelsea Meissner” homepage and I may want to mix it up.  To that man I say “Go to hell!!!”  Just kidding…  I 90% agree, it was getting out of control.  (Although Chelsea darling, if you are reading this, I promise it’s just a lie that I’m telling to appease the masses.  It’s like the bartender who wont admit she has a boyfriend so she’ll get better tips.  I got to make “the people” happy.)

So, my real girlfriend Christina Cha Cha Cha gets the headline picture this week… as promised… and DAMN does she deserve it!  Look at those legs, those abs, that smile, those eyes and those ummmm…

Either way, Chipwrecks has definitely gotten out of control with Survivor lately.  I have been insane busy  (also just insane) and haven’t had time to write much else.  But I promise I will soon.  Thanks for staying a fan!

Anyways, heres Survivor 4/4.  Love the title this week from CBS.  Just Annihilate Them!  Let us learn and let us do.

After Sushi got the boot at last week’s Tribal Council, Troyzan and Jay realize they are outmanned… literally six ladies to five “men”/idiots.  Just reinforcing they aren’t using their heads in this game.  You should do every single thing you can to keep the advantage.  Why run the risk of voting out a guy?  Serves them right for being dumb dummies.

The Reward Challenge is brought to you this week by the crisp, clean taste of 7Up.  (Why don’t these things get sponsored more often?  It makes complete sense.) Probsty Boy goes blue hat over blue shirt, as usual.

For the challenge you have to go down a water slide to retrieve puzzle pieces and then make a puzzle.  The winning tribe gets to go to the 7Up Oasis, Ha Ha Ha, where they get burgers, steaks and…. key lime pie.  Ahhh…. the age-old pairing of steak and key lime pie, it’s as old as peanut butter and jelly, oil and vinegar, and biscuits and gravy.

The teams are split up by a schoolyard pick, so who cares who is on what team…  only person of note is that Tarzan wasn’t picked.  Geek.  Pretty much every bikini bottom falls off on the water slide and there are three blurred butts.  Score!

One team wins, one team loses… Whatever, it’s pointless in the scope of the game.  Troyzan tells the losers that they should be glad they didn’t win because a steak would be hard to digest and Tarzan is shown eating a piece of wood, which could also be difficult to digest.

Seriously how weird is that Cars.com commercial?

In the WTF segment of the week: before it’s about to rain, Tarzan takes some pieces of the shelter wall down and throws them in the fire.  Chelsea says something to him about it and he has a small spaz fit.  Afterwards, he confronts Chelsea and asks if she has a problem with him because he is a plastic surgeon, because she maybe had a problem with her own plastic surgeon.  “Some people have problems with their plastic surgeons after they have a boob operation.”  Ummm, I think that is probably how YOUR patients feel bro. Also those are fake?  Wowza!  I would have gone to my grave with they’re real and they’re spectacular.

For the Immunity Challenge puzzle, the object of the puzzle is to get a bag of puzzle pieces through a rope puzzle and then do a puzzle with the puzzle pieces after you have completed the rope puzzle.  I’m puzzled by this puzzle puzzle.  Probst says “If it’s not flat, it’s not right.”  Dude, Jeffy boy, FLAT is not really the theme of this season, as is illustrated by the above photo’s.  Jay is not puzzled by the puzzle puzzle and wins immunity.  He’s safe tonight at Tribal Council.

There again is talk by the girls of ousting Mike the banker to knock out another guy.  Troyzan and Jay have their “duh moment” and realize they have to get a lady out to keep their new tribe members honest.  You maybe should have thought of that earlier fellas.

In typical moron man mode, Kim tells Troyzan that Mike is voting against him and Troyzan easily takes the bait.  Ugh… men.  Chelsea mentions to Jay, in front of Cha Cha Cha and Chialicia, about getting rid of Mike next, which alarms Jay.  He realizes he is being conned, because why would she say that to him in front of the girls from the other tribe.  This week is for sure the come to Jesus moment for the guys.  Maybe voting out Sushi wasn’t too smart.  Not Chelsea’s best game move to date.

Going into Tribal Council, the new Salami tribe has to make a decision, to either vote out Mike and put the girls up six to four or to vote out Cha Cha Cha and keep their Salami alliance.

Meow!  Meow! Kitty Kat introduces us to a new word, “Tarzanned.”  Which pretty much means whenever Tarzan talks and it doesn’t make sense, you’ve been Tarzanned.  I see this catching on like being “Googled.”  It’s got some legs.

In the end, the women stick together and sever ties with their new Salami alliance.  Mike the banker is sent packing.  Woman power!   (How did the jockey know to vote for Mike?)

Next week, Troyzan, Tarzan, the jockey and Jay can start packing their bags, because the next four weeks are gonna be bore-ring and predictable.  The men are getting what they deserved.  The guys have been asking for this since the Jump The Shark Episode #4 when they threw themselves into Tribal Council.

See you next week.  PLEASE COMMENT BELOW!!!

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