Butterfinger (Nestle) = 270 calories – Ingredients: Crispy Crunchy Peanut Buttery

True story: I have never watched a full episode of the Simpsons. Mature adults don’t watch cartoons.

When I was a kid I took a date to see Mystic Pizza and before the show I asked her what she wanted from the concession stand. She said “nothing” but during the show she kept asking for the Finger, so I continually got up and bought her Butterfinger bars. At the time, I had no idea why women loved the Finger so much.

Growing up, my grandfather would yell at the TV during Bengals games at their fullback, “Butterfingers Pete Johnson“. I seriously didn’t know until I just checked that his nickname was not Butterfingers. I also just learned that Butterfingers Pete Johnson was kicked out of the NFL in 1983 for buying cocaine from his plumber. How does that conversation start?

Royal Flush: So… I was watching the game and saw you fumble another one against the Steelers last weekend?
Butterfingers: Shut up and fix my toilet man.
Royal Flush: No problem. I found your issue, looks like you got an 8 ball stuck in here sir.
Butterfingers: Damn, I’ve been searching everywhere for that.
Royal Flush: Don’t worry about it, I got everything you’ll need out in my van.
Butterfingers: A new pipe?
Royal Flush: Yeah, a new crack pipe.

The Butterfinger was one of the candy bars I was most highly anticipating in this little adventure. I feel like anything with peanut butter in it can’t be half bad and since women are constantly asking for them, it’s time I finally bang away a Butterfinger. Shocker!

The chocolate was the same quality as the Baby Ruth, just average (apparently the standard Nestle chocolate) and the peanut butter was decent enough except for getting stuck between my teeth. I no joke had to take a drink of water between each bite. The Butterfinger was tasty and thus far my favorite but I still only enjoyed the first half and had to force down the last 2 bites.

Ladies, now that I understand why you like the Finger so much I will gladly share them with you, just ask. Guys, I’m giving you all the Finger, don’t ask.

Diabetes Ranking (1 to 5) = 3 Shots of Insulin

The jury is still out for next week. I’m either trying plain Cadbury chocolate or jumping ahead to the Caramello bar.

PS Joy Turner is looking a little beat these days huh?