Almond Joy (Hershey Peter Paul) = 220 calories – Ingredients: Milk Chocolate, Coconut and 4 Tiny Almonds

“What is 6 inches long, brown, has 2 nuts and makes a girl scream?” “An Almond Joy”

My preconception of the Almond Joy was that I’d be in for a tasty treat that mixed the salt of the almonds and the sweetness of the chocolate; like eating a hand full of popcorn followed by the sweet refreshness of a Coca Cola. Until recently, I was not a fan of the almond nor any other nuts in my mouth but the excitement of the salt and sugar mixed together had me intrigued. Can someone please man up and shoot that salty cream in my mouth!

As I opened the wrapper, I was pleasantly surprised to find that the AJ is not just 1 bar but actually 2 halves! Double my fun. Then on second glance I noticed where the rip off comes, 2 dinky ass little almonds on the top of each half. Only 4 freakin’ almonds?! That’s pretty much no almonds and I found pretty much no joy.

To be blunt, the AJ almost made me gag. I was excited for the almonds but my mind conveniently left out one chief ingredient of the AJ… coconut. The coconut is so overwhelming and disgusting it tastes like a mixture of sugary wood chips and cotton balls. I had to force myself to eat the second half like I was doing a warm shot of Jameson, then I looked down to see I’d only finished 3/4 of the shot. Roll your eyes, take a deep breath, slam the rest and try not to puke.

I think if I was Cast Away on an island, I could suffer through real coconut but I would much prefer to be stranded on an almond producing island.

Diabetes Ranking (1 to 5) = 2 Shots of Insulin

The Almond Joy was not a great start to the candy bar challenge. I’m literally dreading the Mounds bar already. There was no Joy in Mudville. Hopefully the Baby Ruth is a home run next week.

I don’t know who this guy is but he has like 200 YouTube views and is eating an Almond Joy. Straight up internet gold!