Baby Ruth (Nestle) = 280 calories – Ingredients: Chocolate, Peanuts, Caramel and Nougat, whatever that is.

After striking out last week with the leadoff hitter, I was hoping that this week the Baby Ruth bar would be more of a home run. The Almond Joy was a total swing and a miss, so I spent the rest of last week rethinking my game plan for this entire candy bar experiment. How am I going to make it through 51 more candy bars if it doesn’t get any better than this? One plate appearance into the game and we already have on our rally caps.

The wrapper on the BR boasts in huge letters, 4 grams of protein, which seems like beer promoting its high niacin levels. Are there doctors out there prescribing Baby Ruth bars to their patients? “You’re obnoxiously overweight but your protein levels are a smidgen low, maybe try 2 to 3 Baby Ruth candy bars a day.” Side note: If any of you ladies are feeling weak, I have a special protein shake that I can whip out for you.

The first bite was a relief compared to last week. Chocolate was decent, the nuts were crunchy and I still don’t have a clue what the hell nougat is. The peanuts kept falling apart and it generally made a complete mess. The caramel was a bit of a curveball. This may have been the first time in my life I’ve had caramel in this quantity so I’ll probably have to take another hack at it. Afterwards, I had the taste of stale chocolate in my mouth for about 15 minutes.

Decent treat, I wouldn’t be tossing it into the pool but it isn’t even close to delicious enough to get me addicted to sweets. Good enough for Sloth, good enough for me.

Diabetes Ranking (1 to 5) = 3 Shots of Insulin

Next week I put my hand in Pooh’s honey pot and sample a Bit-O-Honey. It sounds repulsive.