I wanted to start 2012 off BIG and no one I know is bigger than the KY Gentleman… if you know what I mean.  He’s pretty sly for a white guy but you don’t get the nickname KY just because you’re from Kentucky.  You get the nickname KY when KY is required.  (In some circles he is also known as the Coke can.)

A few months after KY and Ms. KY got married, they decided to build a home.  In order to save some loot while there home was being built, they moved into Ms. KY’s parents place.

As I have mentioned before, he is a lazy bum and stays home from work all day, watching baseball, golfing and playing video games while his princess is at work slaving as Dr. Ms. KY.

Despite being from Louisville, he’s a huge Atlanta Braves fan and one day while he was home he decided to have some “alone time.”  His father-in-law is retired so he was home that day too and KY told him “Hey Dad, going upstairs to take a nap and watch the Braves game.  See you for dinner.”

KY goes upstairs to the loft that he and the wife were staying in, which was her sisters bed room.  He turns on the Braves game, grabs some Kleenex and lotion, gets naked, lathers himself up real good, hops into bed and lies on top of the duvet.

After a few minutes alone “watching the game,” his father-in-law quietly sneaks in, assuming KY was just taking a nap.  He stands at the foot of the bed while KY lies there, naked and holding his lubed up Coke can.  “What’s the score of the Braves game?”

The second he realized he was not alone, KY froze, like a deer in headlights, thinking “Maybe he won’t notice.”  Now, I’m sorry… things that don’t go unnoticed are having a couple scratches on a rental car or forgetting to feed the dog.  Something that does NOT go unnoticed is someone lying naked in their bed pleasuring themselves.  That is the equivalent of standing on top of the Eiffel Tower and asking “Where is the ground?”

After what had to be the longest moments of KY’s life his father-in-law walked out.  He then had to call up his bride and explain to her what happened.
“So, I was upstairs in the loft by myself, watching the Braves game and your Dad walked in.”
“Well… I was naked.”
“That had to be weird for you.”
“Well yeah…  I wasn’t just lying there naked though…  I was…”
“What is wrong with you!?!  Go into the bathroom and do that in private.”
“Honey, every man does this. I’m sure your father does all the time.”
“What are you talking about?!”
“It’s ok babe…  I don’t think he noticed.”

Let me tell you.  He noticed. I still don’t know the score of that Braves game though.