After college I did the backpack around Europe by myself thing.  Which essentially turned into the get blasted and stumble around Europe by myself thing.  I made a brief stop to my birthplace (near my birthplace) of Munich, Germany to check out the beer halls and chug some Bitburger.

12:53 p.m.  Arrive at Munich train station.
1:21  Check into hostel and take nap.
1:36-3:28  Sleepy time.
3:35-5:13  Pretend I give a shit and do touristy stuff.
5:35  Walk into the Hofbrauhaus beer hall.
5:54  Sit down at a semi-empty table next to some random old dude.
5:56  Order 64 ounce beer #1.
6:03  Old dude tries to talk to me.
6:04  Shrug my shoulders and act like I dont’ speak English.
6:05  Mumble some shit about “Finland” and nod a bunch.
6:12  Order 64 ounce beer #2..
6:21  A young American couple sits down next to us.
6:23  Old dude points to me and says “He’s Finnish”
6:24  Shrug shoulders and again pretend I don’t speak English.
6:27  Couple tells old guy they are from Cincinnati.
6:28-7:10  Do everything I can to not tell them I am the biggest Cincinnati Reds fan of all-time.
7:11  Order 64 ounce beer #3.
7:12-7:47  Spend quality time alone with my thoughts… and my beer.
7:48  Order 64 ounce beer #4.
7:56  Girl looks me directly in the eyes and says “I don’t believe you’re Finnish.  You’re totally American.”
7:57  Cover is blown.
7:58-8:04  Chug beer #4.
8:05  Make my escape.
8:07-8:23  Eat authentic German meal at McDonald’s.
8:26  Walk into second beer house.
8:29  Order 64 ounce beer #5.
8:51  A shot festival breaks out.
9:00  Order 64 ounce beer #6.
9:01-?  Blackout…………..
7:54 a.m.  Wake up in hostel bed with a pounding headache.
8:27  Roll over onto a trash can in my bed.
8:29  Realize I am not alone in the room.
8:41  Greeted with a “Good morning”.
8:42  Somehow move my head enough to see Cincinnati couple sitting in the bed next to me.
8:43 Receive a recap of what happened from 9:01-11:30:
Finished beer #6…
Made way back to McDonald’s and ordered enough food for at least 3 people, which I ate none of.
Went to a park bench to eat.
Passed out on the ground next to the bench.
Cincy couple found me on the ground singing Irish folk songs to myself.
Vomitted about 200 ounces of beer.
They carried me back to the hostel.
They are thrilled to find out we are sharing a room.
Explained to Cincy couple every single possible other detail about my life for the past 30 years bar none.
Vomitted the remaining 160 ounces of beer from my stomach.
Did lots of dry heaving.
Ended up being good friends with that couple and traveled with them for 2 more weeks.
We did not make it to Finland.

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