My passion for the Kid Rock country rap genre has never been disputed. (sarcasm) So in 2009 I went to the HullabaLOU Music Festival, at Churchill Downs, in Louisville, with the KY Gentleman and his Wifey who was 4 months pregnant. The concert went as expected; the American Bad Ass literally rocked our asses off our bodies.

After the show we got caught in the usual crowd surge on the way out. Normally these huge concert crowds can police themselves. There’s an understanding that were all going in the same direction, you’ll get there sooner or later. Just keep your head up, move forward and we can avoid a Riverfront Coliseum incident.

As we are going out, a group of hood rat kids in their early 20’s didn’t know this unwritten rule. They come barging through, pushing people out-of-the-way and generally being assholes. The KY Gentleman can only be gentle to a point; even this gentleman has his limits. These shitheads pushing the pregnant missus was that limit.

After a few shoves into his back, KY turns around and says in so many words, “My wife is pregnant stop pushing.” A few mumbles and grumbles from these kids and we keep moving forward.

From them, it’s mostly posturing, pointing fingers in our faces and lots of “Go F yourselves.” We are not short on the return fire. After another push, KY turns around and makes it very clear in his most amazing Kentucky accent. “Stop fucking pushing us assholes.”

The smallest one in their group, gets super aggressive and jumps in KY’s face. This kid is seriously four and half feet tall and is dressed exactly as you would expect a punk at a Kid Rock show to look. Bandana over the face, flat brimmed baseball cap on sideways, baggy jeans pulled down too far, boxers sticking out and a XXL hooded sweatshirt.

Two seconds after KY turns around, the midget hops up and pushes KY in the chest. He stumbles backwards a few steps and collects himself. For a brief second I can actually see the inner thinking’s of KY. A bubble pops up over his head that reads “This might be ridiculous and I’m sorry you’re a midget but dude, you’re about to get knocked out.”

He cocks his arm back and KY unloads a haymaker on the midget’s chin, knocking this shorty directly to the ground. Clean shot. One punch. Midget on the ground.

I didn’t know he had it in him, in 15 years of friendship, I’ve never even seen him raise his voice. But if someone is pushing your pregnant wife, I guess now is the time.

As the midget falls to the ground, its hat falls.  Underneath the baggy sweatshirt, bandana and baseball hat the midget has long flowing blonde hair… Wifey yells out, “Oh shit, KY!  That’s not a midget, that’s a chick!” Unknowingly, the Gentleman has thrown the first punch of his life and has just knocked out a chick.

After this epic blow, we somehow blend into the crowd and escape to the car like “Shoeless” Joe Jackson in Field of Dreams. “This never happened.”

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