Posts tagged ‘Smells’

The Big Snip

I’m not usually a follower but sometimes when everyone is doing it, I have to jump on board.  I’ve never been an early adopter and will often even fight it.  For years I heard The Wire was the greatest show on TV but I didn’t want to cave in just because it was cool.  Well…  I shouldn’t have waited, that shit is mind bogglingly good.  Omar’s my homeboy.

This time the cool thing to do was get the snip.  I’d been toying around with the idea for years, I’m still a youngish guy, so why not?  I don’t need no kids.  Kids aren’t smart, they aren’t interesting, they have zero life experience, they never want to go to the bars and besides the regular naps we aren’t interested in any of the same things.  “You’re playing with Legos?  Sweet.  Those were cool thirty years ago loser.”  “The Wiggles… awesome.  Bon Iver got robbed at the Grammys.  Thoughts?  Oh, you don’t have any because you’re a kid.” “Want to go see Drive tonight, starts at 10? Oh that’s past your bed time.  Grow up wuss.”  (I’m joking of course…  I love all your kids even if they are rats.)

Decision made, no kids for me.  Let’s make it official.  Vasectomy.

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Death Pool Update – Gary Carter 1954-2012

Not much to say here, besides anyone that can survive in the Montreal Expos organization for that long has to be a hell of a guy.

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Death Pool Update – Whitney Houston 1963-2012

Breaking News!  Bobby Brown’s ex-wife is dead from Coke?  Am I the first one leaking this on the internet?  Apparently she loved Coke.

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Death Pool Update – Joe Paterno 1926-2012

Besides allowing his buddies to rape little boys, I’m not really sure what this guy was famous for?

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Death Pool Update – Kim Jong-il 1941/42-2011

It was a great year to rid the world of evil.  Kim Jong-il, Obama Bin Laden, Andy Rooney, Al Davis and Gadaffhi all dead in 2011.  Five just enormous assholes.

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Death Pool Update – Harry Morgan 1915-2011

Harry Morgan dead at 96.  Four points hardly seems worth it?  I guess you gotta take what you can get.

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Death Pool Update – Andy Rooney 1919-2011

That Mickey Rooney dude from 60 Minutes died over the weekend.  I’m sure going to miss all those hilarious things he used to say. 

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Smells Like Fantasy Football – NFC North

The go-to guy in my crew for all things football.  Smells dominates every fantasy league he is in.  Here he gives us his update on the state of the NFL with a division by division breakdown.  (Real Life = On the Field – Make Believe = Fantasy Football)  Take a look.

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This division is one of the top divisions in the league.  With the Green Bay Packers looking absolutely unbeatable and the Detroit Lions having a dream-like season.  This division has two essential playoff locks.  Unless Matthew Stafford’s shoulder remembers that it is made of Jello, they will be in the playoffs.  The Chicago Bears are going to be in a seven team race for two playoff spots.  This was not a good year for the Bears to be mediocre.   I should rephrase that, bad year for the Bears to be normal.

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