When I first moved to Chicago I lived in the Lakeview neighborhood near the Church of Scientology of Chicago.  I’d walk past it daily and was always intrigued.  Thinking “What the hell is going on in that place,” but I never got the gumption to just say screw it and go in.  One day I was discussing with Fancy how I wanted to go and she instantly took the bait to join me.  We planned our night; dinner, a quick stop into the Scientology Center and then to Schubas to see our friend Nathan Xander’s concert.  Game on…

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Dear Metra Rail,

I am on a strict schedule.  I have a routine.  I wake up, shower and then chug an enormous coffee from Dunkin Donuts.  I then get on your 2107 train to Fox Lake at exactly 7:49 a.m.  For the past 7 years, you arrive at the Western Avenue stop every Monday – Friday at exactly 7:49, exactly.  I like to sit in the same seat every morning and I will read the Tribune and kibbutz with the regular riders.  Once I’m done with the paper I’ll either rest my eyes or do the Sudoku,  I’m cool like that.

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The population of Iceland is about 300,000 people, about the size of Corpus Christi, Texas. I’ve decided there are multiple reasons the population is so low…. The obvious reason is it’s cold as balls but my research shows that is not the only reason. It is also the most dangerous place on the planet.

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After being accused of looking like a terrorist by an Icelandair desk agent, I have no choice but to purchase a second full priced ticket to Iceland.  Felix, KY, Charlie and Sexy get on the Wednesday flight, I’ll spend the night in Boston and meet them in Reykjavik on Thursday.  I call Desire in Chicago, he breaks into my apartment, gets my passport and overnight’s it to me in Boston.

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These are actual pictures taken from a dating website I’m on.  There’s about a million different things that girls post that drives me mental.  It’s not exclusive to these specific girls below.  These are generalizations… so don’t go feeling all bad for them.  I assure you, there is plenty more crazy where this came from.

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More Craigslist bait… this time I am trying to get rid of my iPhone because I want to “Get off the grid.”  

Again, if you have any ideas for stuff I can pawn on Craigslist or services i can request please send them in.

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I had my knee operated on last week from a hoops injury earlier in the summer.  Instead of going the route of “traditional healing” I felt the need for something more.  Thankfully I was listening to the Howard Stern Show a few weeks ago and Howard’s sidekick, Robin, went to visit Braco The Gazer.  Braco is a pseudopsychic who heals people by gazing at them….  Who am I kidding?  This whack job fucking stares at a room full of lunatics for 5 minutes and people pay $8 to to go see this shit.  I could not think of a better way to spend my Saturday afternoon!

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