We’ve got to do something about this guy. I initially didn’t know how bad it was, but this is getting serious. If we don’t take a stand right now, this son of a bitch just might have the nerve to release Clerks III.

Read more…

One of my life mantras is “The More The Better.”   Why would I want to dry my hands with one large paper towel when I could use like five or six miniature towels at a time.  Plus, silver lining, I’m getting tons of extra exercise while I’m pumping this slot machine arm for 3 inches of paper at a time.

In 1999 I proudly walked in the  “Million Man March Against the Hand-Crank Towel Dispensers.”  It was time they made those things electric!  I remember the outcry from the media against the hand-cranked machines, due to the years of oppression we were subjected to living under.  Being forced to use brute human strength to crank those archaic machines for a towel, simply to dry our freshly cleansed hands.

I only wish the new electric sensors didn’t work all the time.  Seems like it would be fun to stand there waving my arms around like an idiot, hoping a tiny piece of paper might possibly come out.

The origins of this game are believed to date back to the Samurai.

Read more…

Read more…

It was Sunday night and I was 14 plus miles into my 16 mile marathon training run.  I was in the home stretch and running along the retaining wall along Lake Michigan.  I was pretty zoned out and cruising on the sidewalk going against traffic.  It was about 9pm so there wasn’t anyone else out there and I was kinda thinking to myself “Maybe I shouldnt be out here in the dark.”

Read more…

The first time Bobby made out was on a junior high school youth seminar camping trip.

Read more…

The food in Japan is just not what you would expect.  It is nothing like Benihana of Tokyo or your local sushi place, I promise.  The texture is off and the food is treated with different chemicals that affect our round eye stomachs differently.  That and about 15 bottles of sake gave me an extreme case of geri.

Read more…

I cannot think of one single thing that is more masculine than sipping on a straw.  Sucking on a straw goes hand-in-hand with chopping wood, fixing cars and shooting guns.