MY NAME IS CHIP. WEIRD SHIT JUST SORTA HAPPENS TO ME. THIS IS A SOME OF THAT SHIT.
Our senior year at Dayton we lived near the prime parking area for commuter students, right near the academic buildings. I’d park my Wrangler right in front of our house and leave it there for weeks. (Except of course to drive to the bar every night.) We pretty much had a reserved house parking spot, right in front of our place.
Spring break junior year of college we decided to go to my parents lake house in Texas. A pretty ridiculous crew of ten guys, including me, Hustle, Felix, Desire, KY and The Donger hopped in our cars and drove from Dayton to Lake Conroe, outside Houston.
After high school The Donger had a short “rebellion period. A few months before he headed away to UD, his parents tried to crack the whip, lay down the law, get him in check and some other clichés. As you would expect… this didn’t go over too well.
Our senior year at UD, The Donger brought to school a stuffed boar’s head trophy from his fathers basement. He gave us a speech about how important this thing was to his dad, that he had stolen it and that we couldn’t fuck it up or his dad would be furious. So…we hung it in the most high traffic room of the house.
After spring break, senior year at Dayton, Spice came back to school from New York and brought with him some big ass Italian sub from a deli in NYC. We went to the bar and he did not stop yapping about this fucking sub. “It’s the best sub in the city…. I grew up on these subs… My Dad went to this place when he was a kid… I can’t wait to go home tonight and eat that sandwich….” As he said this, I looked at Felix’s face and knew that Spice was never seeing one bite of that sandwich.
At UD I bartended at this biker/dive bar just off campus with Felix, Charlie, Desire, Fatoo and Donger. I was a 21-year-old freshman so pretty much the only student that should have been in there. Good thing that this fat dipshit hillbilly named Blob ran the place and let any 15-year-old with a library card into the joint.
Pranks wars were a daily game for us at UD. If we’d spent half the energy on school as we did on finding ways to fuck with people, we may have all graduated.
For my first bachelor party me and 11 of my buddies went to Hilton Head Island. We played some golf, hit the strip clubs, drank some beers, told some lies and woke up early for a shark fishing trip… It ended up being a trip of firsts.
First time I ever caught a shark.
First time I ever held a shark.
First time I screamed like a bitch and threw a shark back in the water.
May 8, 2012
Chip
chipwrecks 