MY NAME IS CHIP. WEIRD SHIT JUST SORTA HAPPENS TO ME. THIS IS A SOME OF THAT SHIT.
On a cold Monday night at UD after watching football, drinking warm leftover keg beer and eating too many chicken wings, the KY Gentleman was forced to relieve himself on our front porch. I’m not talking about #1 here… this is called the poop story of the week for a reason.
Our senior year at UD, The Donger brought to school a stuffed boar’s head trophy from his fathers basement. He gave us a speech about how important this thing was to his dad, that he had stolen it and that we couldn’t fuck it up or his dad would be furious. So…we hung it in the most high traffic room of the house.
I went to a friend’s wedding a few years ago on the east coast. Pretty standard wedding, with nothing epic to report from the reception itself. However, the phone call I got a few days after the wedding was fairly noteworthy.
After spring break, senior year at Dayton, Spice came back to school from New York and brought with him some big ass Italian sub from a deli in NYC. We went to the bar and he did not stop yapping about this fucking sub. “It’s the best sub in the city…. I grew up on these subs… My Dad went to this place when he was a kid… I can’t wait to go home tonight and eat that sandwich….” As he said this, I looked at Felix’s face and knew that Spice was never seeing one bite of that sandwich.
Charlie Hustle twice tried to eat 8 pounds of carrots in one day. His mother went shopping for groceries for our house and what do single college aged guys like to eat… apparently carrots…. pounds and pounds of carrots? After not opening the bag for 2 months they were going bad and we had to get rid of them somehow.
At UD I bartended at this biker/dive bar just off campus with Felix, Charlie, Desire, Fatoo and Donger. I was a 21-year-old freshman so pretty much the only student that should have been in there. Good thing that this fat dipshit hillbilly named Blob ran the place and let any 15-year-old with a library card into the joint.
October 27, 2011
Chip
chipwrecks 