“R. Kelly is MLK” Audio From Visitor’s Locker Room

This dude in Britain cheated in some stupid marathon they had across the pond last weekend.

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At work the day after Lollapalooza, I accidentally popped a huge zit in the middle of my back by leaning against the back of my chair  It must have been from the steroids?  I didn’t realize I did it so I had blood all over the back of my white shirt.

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After college I did the backpack around Europe by myself thing.  Which essentially turned into the get blasted and stumble around Europe by myself thing.  I made a brief stop to my birthplace (near my birthplace) of Munich, Germany to check out the beer halls and chug some Bitburger.

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I’m sure from the title you thought this would be a post about some Mexican food I enjoyed for lunch and then pooped my pants… well it isn’t.  It is an update on my locker room experiences with the Mexican cleaning/”hanging out in the mens locker room” ladies.  Every time I go to work out they are just maxin’ in the mens locker room.

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We’ve got to do something about this guy. I initially didn’t know how bad it was, but this is getting serious. If we don’t take a stand right now, this son of a bitch just might have the nerve to release Clerks III.

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Why is Snooki taking a dump on stage in this picture?

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One of my life mantras is “The More The Better.”   Why would I want to dry my hands with one large paper towel when I could use like five or six miniature towels at a time.  Plus, silver lining, I’m getting tons of extra exercise while I’m pumping this slot machine arm for 3 inches of paper at a time.

In 1999 I proudly walked in the  “Million Man March Against the Hand-Crank Towel Dispensers.”  It was time they made those things electric!  I remember the outcry from the media against the hand-cranked machines, due to the years of oppression we were subjected to living under.  Being forced to use brute human strength to crank those archaic machines for a towel, simply to dry our freshly cleansed hands.

I only wish the new electric sensors didn’t work all the time.  Seems like it would be fun to stand there waving my arms around like an idiot, hoping a tiny piece of paper might possibly come out.