MY NAME IS CHIP. WEIRD SHIT JUST SORTA HAPPENS TO ME. THIS IS A SOME OF THAT SHIT.
The food in Japan is just not what you would expect. It is nothing like Benihana of Tokyo or your local sushi place, I promise. The texture is off and the food is treated with different chemicals that affect our round eye stomachs differently. That and about 15 bottles of sake gave me an extreme case of geri.
I cannot think of one single thing that is more masculine than sipping on a straw. Sucking on a straw goes hand-in-hand with chopping wood, fixing cars and shooting guns.
I straight up love this dude. However, no one is cooler than the kid sitting on the floor that just can’t be bothered. “Yeah Gramps, you keep on cutting a rug. I just don’t have time for that shit right now. I’m busy here playing with this stuffed dog.”
At the next wedding I go to, If I don’t see someone bust out the move he does at the :06 second mark, I’m going to be beyond disappointed.
I just don’t see how referring to someone as a “future” hall of famer could possibly jinx their career? If someone has even a decent career we should call him a “future hall of famer,” it’s just a nice way to thank them for trying so hard. It really isn’t fair that everyone can’t be in the Hall Of Fame. If they can’t be in their actual Hall Of Fame, maybe we should open a Hall Of Very Good or a Hall Of He Tried Real Hard?
Charlie Hustle twice tried to eat 8 pounds of carrots in one day. His mother went shopping for groceries for our house and what do single college aged guys like to eat… apparently carrots…. pounds and pounds of carrots? After not opening the bag for 2 months they were going bad and we had to get rid of them somehow.
At UD I bartended at this biker/dive bar just off campus with Felix, Charlie, Desire, Fatoo and Donger. I was a 21-year-old freshman so pretty much the only student that should have been in there. Good thing that this fat dipshit hillbilly named Blob ran the place and let any 15-year-old with a library card into the joint.
This is how food is meant to be eaten. Who has time to sit down and eat a meal in 2011? This isn’t 1950, where people actually sit down for dinner any more? Why sit down and eat a plate of ribs, when you can walk and eat on your way to your workout. Then, just wipe your face on your sleeve. You don’t see animals eating their meals in one place do you? Do we think we are so much better than them? I think it would be a good idea to just strap a feed bag around your head so you can chow down at all times.
October 3, 2011
Chip
chipwrecks 