The first time Bobby made out was on a junior high school youth seminar camping trip.

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“The Plastic Bag Story” Audio From The Visitor’s Locker Room

The food in Japan is just not what you would expect.  It is nothing like Benihana of Tokyo or your local sushi place, I promise.  The texture is off and the food is treated with different chemicals that affect our round eye stomachs differently.  That and about 15 bottles of sake gave me an extreme case of geri.

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I cannot think of one single thing that is more masculine than sipping on a straw.  Sucking on a straw goes hand-in-hand with chopping wood, fixing cars and shooting guns.

I straight up love this dude.  However, no one is cooler than the kid sitting on the floor that just can’t be bothered.  “Yeah Gramps, you keep on cutting a rug.  I just don’t have time for that shit right now.  I’m busy here playing with this stuffed dog.”

At the next wedding I go to, If I don’t see someone bust out the move he does at the :06 second mark, I’m going to be beyond disappointed.

I just don’t see how referring to someone as a “future” hall of famer could possibly jinx their career?  If someone has even a decent career we should call him a “future hall of famer,” it’s just a nice way to thank them for trying so hard.  It really isn’t fair that everyone can’t be in the Hall Of Fame.  If they can’t be in their actual Hall Of Fame, maybe we should open a Hall Of Very Good or a Hall Of He Tried Real Hard?

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Charlie Hustle twice tried to eat 8 pounds of carrots in one day.  His mother went shopping for groceries for our house and what do single college aged guys like to eat… apparently carrots….  pounds and pounds of carrots?  After not opening the bag for 2 months they were going bad and we had to get rid of them somehow.

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At UD I bartended at this biker/dive bar just off campus with Felix, Charlie, Desire, Fatoo and Donger.  I was a 21-year-old freshman so pretty much the only student that should have been in there.  Good thing that this fat dipshit hillbilly named Blob ran the place and let any 15-year-old with a library card into the joint.

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